Many of my important realizations are super obvious in hindsight. It's not so strange; scientific progress often works in the same way. I guess it makes sense - once the pieces come together, the insight crystallizes, it's hard to imagine it any other way. Another way of looking at it is that it's hard to have any perspective when you're trying to figure out your own mind, with the same mind. Objectivity is hard to find. Common sense doesn't always work like it should.
All of which is a long introduction to what seems to me now a very obvious realization: spending my free moments thinking through tasks on my todo list is a waste of my life, and a big part of why I've felt so overwhelmed by my todo list all the time.
So why was I doing this? I think it started as a way to feel in control, on top of things ... and got to be a habit for filling in otherwise free brain time. And then it got to be so much of a habit that I didn't even notice myself doing it.
I'm surprised I even noticed now. Maybe my slower pace of life at the moment is helping, or the fact that I've started meditating again. What I do know is that a few nights ago, as I was lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep, I realized that I didn't need to think through what I should do the next day. A revelation!
So now, when I notice myself mentally idling by going over things I could do, want to do, or feel that I should do, I tell myself, "Stop. Don't worry - what needs to get done, will get done. You write things down. You won't forget. And everything else - it's not as important as finding calm and being happy in this moment, and the next moment. The only reason you want to do those other things is because somehow, you think they will make you happy. But you don't need them to be happy! Just be in this moment, right now. And trust that you will fill your time well each day, even without a complicated scheduling system or a todo list constantly looking at you. Have faith in yourself. Let go."
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