Turning away from tips and tricks

Tips and tricks are everywhere on the internet, in the media, in suggestions from friends. They're quick, they're tempting, they're seductive. And for some things, details of ordinary life, they're great. White vinegar and baking soda really do do a great job of cleaning sinks and faucets. I really have gotten great curls by sleeping with wet hair wrapped around a headband. And I've learned some excellent and easy methods for making paper flowers and other party decorations. But for the big things, the important things, the difficult things, tips and tricks are deceptive, distracting, and harmful.

I've gotten sucked in so many times, spent so many hours reading blogs, hoping that one of the magic-sounding tricks would make a difference. "5 Ways to Find Calm When You're Stressed." "10 Secrets to Eating Healthy." "How to Increase Your Productivity Instantly." Most of the time, the suggestions make sense. They're not bad. But they didn't work for me. I didn't stick to them, or they didn't help when I tried them, or I forgot about them immediately. And I never stopped to think much about it.

Now I'm starting to see real changes in my life and in myself, and it's suddenly become clear that none of these changes have anything to do with tips and tricks. I've made progress through introspection, through examining the way I think and make decisions, through questioning my priorities and goals. Not by trying to do ten minutes of yoga every day, or taking five deep breaths whenever I'm overwhelmed, or doing a test to tell me what career I'd be best at, or by adding flax seeds to my breakfast cereal. It's been through realizing that right now exercise is not my highest priority, by finding out that I can be kind to myself and that everything's better when I am, by asking myself again and again what work I actually enjoy doing, rather than what work I like the idea of, and by paying attention to how I feel when I eat different foods and discovering that vegetables make me feel good. It's been slow, halting, and difficult.  Sometimes it's been painful; sometimes I have despaired. But I think it's the only way I'll keep moving forward - one tiny step at a time.

So another deceptively hopeful filter has come off my eyes, and I see things a tiny bit clearer. I'll probably keep falling for those promises of quick results and easy change ... but hopefully now I'll realize soon after that they're the lifestyle equivalent of "This Housewife Made $32,000 in Her First Month Working Online!" or "Papayas Are the New Weight Loss Secret!" One step at a time!